Stopping Self-Sabotage

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by Wendi Moore-Buysse

A few months ago, I ordered some folders from a company off the internet. When I called them, I asked the sales person to check their stock to make sure they had the item because I needed it quickly. She said they did, so I ordered it. I also paid for my order to be shipped express - the fastest way they could get it to me.

The item should have arrived at my place of business within a couple of business days. After a week, I called the company to find out what was going on. The same person that I ordered from said, "Oh, that item has been discontinued." I asked for a refund and was told I would get one. It has been 3 months and I still have not seen that money.

I have called and emailed the company several times. Their excuse is that their accounting department is running behind. I finally got tired of dealing with them and have filed complaints with the Attorney General and the Better Business Bureau in the state of Georgia .

Now, I'm not writing this story to complain about how I've been treated by this company. I'm writing this story for other reasons - two to be exact. I've learned a few lessons from dealing with this company.

The first one is that from now on, I will always look at the Better Business Bureau's website before doing business with a company on the internet. As it turns out, I am not the first person to complain about this company's business practices. There were other complaints about this company - at least two.

The second lesson I learned is about what I did to attract this situation and that can be summed up in one phrase - self-sabotage. It all stemmed from my thoughts about what I was doing at the time. The reason I ordered those folders was because the woman who runs the speakers bureau I am a part of told me that it was time to raise my fees. She said I would have to find some good folders to create a speakers packet so I could send those out when a meeting planner was interested in having more information about me.

At the time that she told me this, I was excited. But then I started to get nervous. Why would my information be worth that much? Why should anyone hire me at that fee? I'm not good enough. I'm not ready for this. And so because I had this kind of self-talk going through my head, I sabotaged my efforts at putting a speaker packet together until I was ready.

When I called that company, which sells to restaurants, businesses, and churches, by the way, my intuition said don't do it. I ignored it. That is unusual for me unless I want to sabotage myself.

Isn't that an interesting statement? The problem was I didn't realize I was doing it until it was too late.

This happens to many of us. We sabotage our own efforts for some reason or another and we don't even realize we are doing it. So how can we stop this process? We can stop it by doing a few things:

1. Pay attention. Become aware of your intuition and then become aware of when you are following it and not following it. If you are not following it, find out why. 2. Be sure you are totally on board with your intention. If you have any misgivings about whatever it is you are doing (raising your fees, finding a new job, starting a business), stop the process and get to the bottom of it. You may not be totally on board, but at least you will create an awareness of your self-sabotaging efforts and how you can stop them. 3. When you find yourself in a situation where you are sabotaging yourself, stop what you are doing and try to repair the damage. If you are unable to do that, chalk it up to experience and move on. You probably won't do that again. As for my own self-sabotaging efforts, I am getting better. I never did find the folders I was looking for, but I did find something that's better. Last month, I raised my fees without a hitch. I am happy, the speaker's bureau is happy, and I'm sure my new clients will be happy.

About the Author
Wendi Moore-Buysse is a professional speaker who works with businesses that want to market to women. She speaks professionally to, coaches, teaches, and consults with women who want to develop problem-solving skills and leadership skills using intuition, self-talk, and the belief system. Her books and e-books from the Life's Little Cheat Sheets™ Series, including "Shifting Gears: Get Moving in the Right Direction", are available thro

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