Becoming a Lord or Lady

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by Tom Watson

The Easy Way to Getting A Real Title

Let me tell you a true story, a funny story, but true none the less. About this time two years ago I had a chance of a almost free holiday to the "good ole US of A" to visit my Uncle Frank, he had moved there around five years previous. Frank had set himself up as a plumber and by all accounts was doing quite well. After what seemed an eternity stuck on a no smoking airline, my wife and I touched down at JFK, after fighting our way through all the red tape we eventually get to our meeting area. Now I haven't seen Frank in what must be at least nine years so I was a little unsure if we would recognise each other, it turns out that wasn't going to be a problem, a man dressed with a suit and hat and a sign with my name on it was waiting at arrivals. "This way sir, madam the cars out the front". Well the next thing we know is we are being driven, no chauffeured to a nearby hotel, where (wait for it) Lord and Lady Learsdale will be waiting in attendance for us? "What"? I ask. "Lord Frances of Learsdale" utters the chauffer. "That's who chartered the service sir, though I believe it's courtesy of the airline you travelled with."

On arrival at the hotel reception there they were, Frank and Rebecca, sorry Lord Frances and Lady Rebecca. We recognised each other straight away. "Right Uncle Frank what's the score with this Lord and Lady thing" I ask. "All in good time Thomas, trust me you will love this one."

Once we get to the house, a nice house mind big and spacious, but still not a 'manor' Uncle Frank tells me that as a wedding anniversary gift my cousin (his son) Alex bought them titles for a laugh. "It was a fun thing to do and we thought it was just a certificate thing, but we later found out that they were real and international recognised he explained." "Hold on you telling me that you can actually by a title? And it's real? No way." "Yep" he replied. With that I was shown his deeds, driving licence, bank statements and sure as I'm sat here he was right. "Unbelievable" I expressed.

Uncle Frank then went on to tell me and during our stay, showed me the kind of special treatment you get with a title. We got.

Free meals at restaurants. The ones we did pay for, we were given one on one waiter service, the best seats and no reservations were needed. Access to clubs I would never have got into prior to this trip. He has various companies' actually offering him free, yes free gifts just to use his name as a publicity stunt, i.e. "Oh yes, Lord and Lady Learsdale regularly use our products." He even had parking ticket revoked which in America apparently is a big deal? He showed me pictures of him opening and hitting the first ball off the first tee at a golf competition, THE MANS A PLUMBER!! For goodness sake, it's brilliant.

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