My first experience with Vipassana Meditation

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I started Vipassana in 2001. A friend mentioned it to me and that same evening I had booked myself onto a course on the internet. I was really looking forward to it because I had been looking for something for a very long time and somewhere deep inside I knew: this is it.

The course was very different from what I had expected. I thought it should be about relaxation, blanking the mind, etc. The first three days was like a concentration exercise, concentrating on the breath, calming the mind. It was hard. Not only was I not accustomed to sitting for up to 12 hours a day on a mat on the ground, I also was unable to keep thoughts from getting into my mind so I was getting upset about not being able to concentrate properly. I had pain everywhere, was unable to find any comfortable position whatsoever. There were loads of other people, whom I did not know but was unable to speak to.

On the 4th day, Vipassana Meditation was taught. Although it was quite an experience, it created something I had not expected. Lots of things came up from my past, lots of thoughts and mental pain. It was hard to face. But finally, after about 10 days of this, Metta Meditation was taught and after that we could speak. It was a bit strange and by that time I did not really feel like speaking any more. I did feel very relaxed that day.

The real interesting part came afterwards. All the stuff that had come up during the meditation seemed like something of the past, something I had lost. As if a burden had fallen from my shoulders. It felt incredibly liberating. I kept on meditating daily and became better and better at the technique and more stuff started falling of. Not always was this easy. Usually it started with periods of anguish, the pain of letting go. But when I finally let go it was just great. It made me into a much calmer and more relaxed person. Although anxiety and stress still come occasionally, it does not really matter any more that much - I can let go and relax much quicker and easier.

It has been the greatest gift anybody could have given me. I am so much more aware, relaxed and happy then I every was. I can face the world, while before I just made due. I have no stress, only the occasional storm but you always know that they will pass and they do not happen very often any more. Even the difficulties that sometimes come up are something that pass and when you come out the other side, your are a happier person. So much weight will fall off your shoulders. Just try it ... what does it matter if you try. You will not change that much if you do just one course so try and see if you like it. If you continue, you know now what can happen and what you might have to face. Then again, you might not. Not everybody is the same. Be Happy.

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